I'm feeling a bit like Rapunzel lately.
Imagine a tower so high, that you can't quite make out the top yet.
It's a steady spiral of red brick, and lush green vine.
In the daytime you must squint to make out a peep hole of a window,
and in the dark of night, you can sometimes see the flicker of a candle, outlining something that almost looks like a young lady.
I'm up there.
In that tower.
Just alone.
This beating heart and I.
It's hard to pinpoint why exactly I'm isolated.
I certainly have isolated myself.
Not because I LIKE to be antisocial.
Certainly not because I don't enjoy the company of others.
But I have so much to accomplish before it's too late.
And these two little boys deserve a mom that
WANTS TO BE THEIR MOM.
And I suppose I've built this giant tower for myself because I assume nobody will get it
None of you will understand.
And the bed I've made is mine alone to lie in at night
To internalize and digest and assess
all of the mistakes and the heartache.
I'm not brave enough to come down from my tower yet.
I will not let my hair down.
I will not let you in.
I will not show my weakness.
YET
Give me some time, and maybe I'll start to venture
And maybe I'll be a little less selfish
And ready to start breaking down this tower
And little by little- I'll love.
Fiercely, Freely, and Insanely
